An open letter

Dear drivers in my Current State:

I've been driving around you for a few years now, and I can't help but notice a few things. Although many of you are excellent drivers, there are a few of you who cause me to resort to name calling and the occasional yelling of "OH COME ON!!!". I would like it if we could be friends. In order to move this friendship along I have complied a list of several things that will help us to avoid an accident and cut down on my current frustration. Some of the things are specific, others are just clarifications.

1. If the speed limit is 50, it's ok to go 50 (unless of course the weather or road conditions are horrible, then please go as slow as you see fit.) However, on a perfectly fine sunny summer morning, there is no need to go 35 just to be safe. Heck, I'll even be ok if you drove 52 or even 53!

2. The center/left turn lane is there to be used. Hey, it's practically begging you to pull into it when making your turn. and there's no reason to be shy about the turn lane. In fact, you should get nice and cozy with it. go ahead, pull your car all the way into the lane don't leave your bumper out in the left lane where another motorist might clip you and will in fact need to slam on their brakes to avoid doing so. Come on, love your whole car, not just the front end

3. I understand the allure of driving a truck. Trucks are fun. I drove a truck for about 6 months. It was a blast. I understand the need and longing to drive a large vehicle. However, before you hit the road in your new F-350, please be sure that you are aware of how to drive said pick-up, that you are able to park said pick up, and that you are able to keep your pick-up in the lane you are driving in. It is never ok to take up 2 lanes of traffic.

4. Kindly remove yourself from my bumper. I know that my car is cute and all, but if you like my car so much, you can get your own. Just head on down to a Honda dealership and pick one up. It's a really great car, and I don't blame you for wanting a better look. And I know the Canadian and American Flags near the license plate are very patriotic, and maybe you are trying to thank me for being so patriotic, but really, all you have to do is wave as you drive by. I'm a cuddly person, I understand the need for closeness, and in person I have a smaller space bubble than some others I know, but in my car, My space bubble is rather large.

5. If you don't know how to use your turn signals what makes you think you will be able to operate the rest of your vehicle. I have heard people complain that no one will let you merge on the highway, however, I think the lack of a signal on your part might be part of the problem. Let's look at it this way if you are on a date with a cute boy and you want him to hold your hand you don't sit with your arms folded and turn away from him all night and then complain that all you got at the end of the night was a good firm handshake. Use your blinkers, go for the "lean" (if you have any questions ask Jack or Joe Jr.), and who knows, you might be amazed at the politeness abounding on the freeway.

6. I have a really cute horn on my car. If pressed twice in rapid succession, it sounds exactly like the road runner. However when I was learning to drive I was under the impression that horns were meant to warn other motorists of impending danger. Like"Hey! Get out of my way the brakes are out and I might hit you so get out of my way, NOW!" or to make a motorist aware such as "I'm sorry sir, but it seems that the light has turned green. Please proceed, so that we can all be on our way" or occasionally to show anger or displeasure "Look mister I don't care if you are driving a hummer large enough for Hagrid, Madame Maxime, Aragog, Fluffy, and the Giant Squid to all have enough leg room, YOU DIDN'T USE YOUR BLINKER AND YOU ALMOST SQUASHED MY SMALL HONDA TO SMITHEREENS!!" So please while we are driving please don't feel the need to honk at hot girls, hot boys, mothers with young children, scooters, Men in Construction Zones, joggers, dogs, birds, and random dust mites you might see along your way. Because when you do, I tend to freak out a little looking for the thing I did wrong.

I really hope this list will help you and that we can continue to be friends. No hard feelings.

Cordially,

Nantie Meg