An Open Letter to the Jerk who called at 2:30 AM

Dear Sir:

Did you enjoy our conversation last night? I sure didn't. I don't know if your mother ever taught you this, but it is rude to call people at 2:30 am and ask them to help you with your psychology homework. My mother always taught me that you don't call someone after 9:00 at night unless you know for a fact that they will be up. Even in my college apartment, my roommates and I are thrown off if someone calls after 10:30. Yes, we are always up that late, but it is unusual to receive calls from people after those hours.

I understand that maybe you have been having trouble in this psychology class you told me about. And please know that I recognize how important extra credit work can be. But waking someone up in the middle of the night is never the best way to get them to cooperate with you.

Ive decided that since you didn't know what was going on at my end of the phone, I might help you out further and let you in on a few conclusions I have drawn. Maybe they will be of help in your final write-up.

Here are some things you should know about me:
1. I am an insomniac. I had only been asleep for about 15 minutes before your call. Because of our fantastic little conversation, I only got about 3 hours of sleep before I got up for church on Easter Sunday.
2. When the phone rings in the middle of the night my first thought is that something is wrong, and someone has died. When you called I was paniced that I might have to tell one of my roommies that their mother had died. Scaring people like that is not a nice thing to do.
3. When I do go into panic mode, it is very easy for my mind to wake up, thus taking me out of the relaxed state you had hoped for by calling in the middle of the night.
4. I am passive agressive, (thus the open ended letter that you will never read, instead of hanging up on you last night or should I say early this morning).
5. My mom always taught me that no one can have power over me, unless I let them. I'm sorry, but I don't let anyone put me in a situation like that. I've seen what hypnotists can do, and I'm not such a fan of being so relaxed that you can get me to do anything.

Here's what happened on my side of the conversation, When I woke up enough that I realized what was going on, I didn't want to tell you to go suck a lemon, because I know what it's like to need extra credit in order to save your final grade in class, so I thought if I just stayed silent you would think that I had fallen asleep. You didn't fall for that one, you tricky little snake. SO then, I pushed a bunch of buttons with my cheek to make you think I had let go of the phone. THat seemed to work a little better although you were very persistant in trying to get my attention back on the phone. Finally I won, and you gave up. It's good you gave up when you did, because I would have beaten you anyway, and it's better to have people defeated quickly than to draw out the process.

For future referance, you may want to avoid dialing random numbers in the future, you never know who you may get, and in the end, waking people from a sound sleep in the middle of the night to run psychological experiments over the phone is just a mean thing to do.

Please keep what I have told you in mind as you write your paper, and hey, maybe you can use some of it to include in a section on passive aggression.

Sincerely,
Meg

P.S.- Don't ever call me again. Thanks!